So, imagine this: a teenager walks into a bank, just minding his own business. But then, something unexpected happens, and before you know it, chaos ensues. The story goes like this—according to a fake viral article, a bank teller mistook the teen’s, uh, physical state (let’s say an “unintentional standing ovation”) for a concealed weapon. Yep, that’s right. His erection was allegedly mistaken for a pistol, and all hell broke loose. Cops were called, fists were flying, and the poor guy got beaten up because… well, biology did its thing.
Sounds ridiculous, right? Well, that’s because it is. The whole story is a big, fat hoax, courtesy of the internet’s weird corner where satire meets gullibility.
But let’s break it down.
The Fake Tale Begins
The claim first surfaced on a website called World News Daily Report. Now, if you’ve never heard of it, let me sum it up for you: It’s a satirical site that churns out made-up stories, like a tabloid but even less subtle. Their motto? “Where facts don’t matter.” So, yeah, you can already guess the level of journalistic integrity here.
The story, as reported by the site, claimed that a 17-year-old boy in Detroit was shot at and beaten by police after the teller thought his, um, bulging pants were hiding a firearm. The website even went the extra mile with dramatic flair, stating that this poor kid, named Jamal Freeman, ended up in critical condition at Detroit Medical Center after cops fired 12 shots and then beat him senseless. Why? Because in the heat of the moment, that bulge seemed a little too gun-like.
Sure, it’s one of those “you can’t make this stuff up” moments, except in this case, someone did make it up. Completely.
So, Is Any of This True?
Nope. Not even a little bit.
To start, World News Daily Report is known for creating these absurd stories. They even have a disclaimer that pretty much admits everything they write is fake. The disclaimer says, “All characters appearing in the articles in this website – even those based on real people – are entirely fictional and any resemblance between them and any person, living, dead or undead, is purely a miracle.” So there you have it. Any hope of believability goes out the window right there.
The Real Victim Behind the Hoax
But here’s where things get a little darker. The fake story uses a real image of a young man with a severely swollen face, which has been floating around on social media. And that young man is Jordan Miles, who was actually beaten by police back in 2010 in Pittsburgh—not Detroit—under entirely different circumstances.
Jordan’s story is a real one, and it’s tragic. He wasn’t beaten because of a mistaken erection, but because officers thought he was carrying a gun—which turned out to be a soda bottle. The photo of his bruised and battered face was widely shared, and his case made headlines for highlighting police brutality.
It’s gross that a real victim’s story has been hijacked for clicks and laughs by satirical sites. Imagine being in Jordan’s shoes, already dealing with the trauma of being assaulted by the police, only to find your picture used for some outlandish, made-up story about an erection gone wrong at a bank. Not cool, internet. Not cool at all.
How Did This Even Go Viral?
The internet thrives on absurdity. The wilder the story, the more likely people are to share it. And honestly, “teen beaten by cops after bank teller mistakes erection for a gun” is exactly the kind of headline that gets people clicking. Whether they think it’s funny, unbelievable, or just downright strange, people are going to spread it.
Plus, let’s not forget that some folks aren’t exactly diligent about fact-checking. They see a headline, they chuckle, and boom—share. By the time you know it, the story is viral, even if it’s completely false.
In this case, several Kenyan and Ugandan entertainment sites picked up the story and ran with it, spreading the hoax even further. I guess they missed the part where the original website literally tells you it’s fake.
Why Do We Fall for This Stuff?
Honestly, stories like this are designed to hit us right in that sweet spot of curiosity and humor. We all love a bizarre, ridiculous story, and this one checks all the boxes. Plus, it has just enough believability to make you pause. I mean, misunderstandings happen, right? So, could someone actually mistake an erection for a weapon? Well, no, not really. But in the age of viral news, where the truth is sometimes stranger than fiction, it’s not too far-fetched for people to fall for it.
Lessons Learned?
The internet is full of weird, wild stories, and this one is no exception. The takeaway? Don’t believe everything you read—especially if it’s coming from a site that proudly declares “facts don’t matter.” Sure, the story is kind of hilarious in its absurdity, but it’s also a reminder to double-check your sources.
And for anyone sharing that viral post about the poor teenager who got beat up because of a bank teller’s mix-up—just, don’t. It’s not true. The real story is about Jordan Miles, a young man who was brutally beaten by police in a completely different situation. Let’s not twist real trauma into some bizarre internet joke.
In the end, it’s a hoax that should’ve never seen the light of day. But alas, here we are. At least now you know the truth behind the story—so maybe you can save someone else from falling for this weird piece of internet fiction.
